Be Impeccable With Your Word

The First of Four Agreements

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

Introduction

Have you ever wondered how much you change in a year? Change isn’t immediate and it isn’t sudden, it’s forever and always. We are mostly numb to change, but there are times when we awake to the fact that we’re evolving. Usually, it’s an event of some sort that will grab our attention. Often, we remember these events but quickly forget they are blips in a never ending line of evolution. Rarely, we remember the time between the blips, the land of stories. 

When you can stand and see both moments and all the moments between it can stir emotions of sadness, pity, gratefulness, and graciousness. Sadness because of what you left behind, pity because in the present you can see the limits of the past you, gratefulness because of how far you’ve come, and graciousness because through observing the struggle, the future you now understand the necessity of mercy and grace. Observing these cycles is a great source of wisdom.

This has been a fairly bumpy year for me, blips everywhere. For a time I walked through a desert, I didn’t notice a thing. Some years look like the peaks of the Rocky Mountains and other years look like the Great Bend Prairies.

One blip this year really caught my attention, I read The Four Agreements: A practical guide to personal freedom, by Don Miguel Ruiz. I’ll post a link to the book at the end of this post. This week’s posts (all four of them) will be my contemplation of the four agreements. One agreement per post. Thank you Eric for introducing me to this book.

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The First Agreement: Be Impeccable With Your Word

Don Miguel uses a very challenging word for this first agreement, impeccable, Merriam-Webster defines it as ‘free from fault or blame:flawless’.

A simple interpretation of this agreement is, ‘do not lie’. Not lying is certainly part of it, but not nearly all of it, because when we think about lying we think about the words we speak. Lying is much more insidious than that, most of our lies are never uttered audibly, but still displayed for all the world to see.

What is ‘Your Word’ Anyway?

I don’t know about you, but I can hear my thoughts, and they’re communicated in a voice that I think sounds like mine. The internal dialogue is my version of thinking. Which is why I feel you don’t have to speak audibly to be using ‘Your Word’. If this is super strange, just know, I didn’t know it was. I’m confessing nothing about my mental state. For the record. 

Just remember you can lie with your mouth closed.

The Weight of Lies (Avett Brothers’ song)

It’s here inside my mind where my lies start, they start with words and end in actions. So subtle, so soothing, so natural. At times you only realize it’s a lie after you’ve been living it for a while. Which is quite shocking and speaks to the nature of lies. It’s shocking because lies require maintenance and defense. 

Maintenance

If you own anything, then you understand what maintenance requires; time and energy. Big lies require big maintenance, and small lies proliferate and lead to lots of maintenance in lots of places. 

Defense

When the lie breaks down, you’ll defend it. You’ve spent so much time building this masterpiece, what would happen if it all fell apart. The fear of this happening makes your priority the lie’s survival regardless of the cost. Whether that cost is relationships or health, you’ll pay it.

The weight of lies will bring you down

And follow you to every town

Cause nothing happens here that doesn't happen there

So when you run make sure you run

To something and not away from

Cause lies don't need an aeroplane to chase you anywhere

-Avett Brothers

The Cost of Lies

Lies will cost you your life. I’m not just talking about mortality, I’m also talking about vitality. The amount of care you give to maintaining and defending the lies in your life will leave you ill equipped to live the life you’ve truly wanted.

We have only a finite amount of energy if you pour any of your energy into the lie, then it’s locked off from you. That energy is now perpetually recycled to service the lie, it can serve no other purpose. This isn’t just about morality there are tangible consequences.

If you aren’t impeccable with your word, then you’re acting as an agent of destruction and the biggest casualties will be the things you hold dear.

How much energy do you have saved up in your own little Ponzi scheme?

What to do next?

First, shine a light on the lie, admit it to yourself, then destroy it. Revel in the energy boost, live a life full of vitality. You may have less, but you’ll be better off; genuine relationships filled with vulnerability and intimacy and improved physical health. Be impeccable with your word, come what may. 

How much energy have you sacrificed to lies, are you ready to take it back? 

Book Link: https://a.co/d/hf15vzc