Decrease the Dissonance
Actions and Words
“The years of life attain such a journey that no one knows where it ends; therefore, travel and avail it, in harmony, not in dissonance.” ― Ehsan Sehgal
Last night, before I turned out his light, my six year old son asked me, “Daddy, why is time moving so fast?” I replied, “I don’t know, but I feel it too…great question.”. Even he can feel it. The brevity of life should force us to truly give thanks for what we have. It’s this time of year that reminds us to give thanks, to be grateful, it’s the holiday season! It’s beautiful, but feels disingenuous, hmm maybe incongruent is a better word. No, that’s not right,oh! Got it, dissonant.
Dissonance - a tension or clash resulting from the combination of two disharmonious or unsuitable elements.
Oftentimes, Thanksgiving is a day of lists. Do you also create lists on Thanksgiving? In my experience it usually goes something like this. Someone asks, “What are you grateful for?”, then everyone around the table makes a list. “The grass, my dog, my family, heat, Nana’s cooking…”, you get it.
You would probably make a list in your head if I asked you right now. It’s the list that lets us know where there is dissonance in our symphony. Are the things that pop into your head when the question is posed, the things that you’re most grateful for? What if I told you that you can tell exactly how grateful you are for anything in your life?
First, do you agree there is a positive correlation between stewardship and gratefulness? I believe, what you care for, you cherish, and what you cherish, you care for. Now, close your eyes and take five deep breaths. Inhale until there’s no room left in your lungs and then audibly exhale.
I’ll wait.
Now, what are you grateful for?
Write down the first three things that pop into your head. Now ask yourself, what are the states of those things? Please, honestly reflect on this. Is this a source of dissonance for you? Have you listed things you’re grateful for that you neglect? How do you feel? Indifferent, sad, angry, frustrated, or enlightened? Maybe the function of the question, “What are you grateful for?” is to remind us. But, if we were truly grateful for the things on our lists, would we forget?
I live in the United States, where a lot of people have a lot. It seems we have so much that we can’t even keep track of all the reasons we’re grateful. Saying we’re grateful for convenience would capture most items on our lists , I suspect.
I’ll leave you with two tips to increase your harmony around gratefulness. These tips can only be executed with intention and commitment.
Be honest with yourself and make shorter lists.
Remember gratefulness and stewardship are positively correlated. We have a finite amount of time and energy, the longer your list, the greater the dissonance.
Improve the quality of care for the things you're grateful for.
Now that your list is more manageable, really start to cherish those things on the list. Next Thanksgiving let someone else answer what you're grateful for, and see if they’re right.
May Thanksgiving 2024 be the culmination of harmony in your symphony of gratefulness.