Growing Up
getting older is just part of it
Getting older is like a never ending college lecture, it goes on and on and on. We grow up when we experience moments of transcendence during that lecture. We experience something that changes us, a lasting lesson. We combine knowledge and action in a way that changes our behavior, sometimes forever.
Getting older is inevitable, biological, and automatic. Even after we die, our remains decompose. It’s just how life works. Throughout our lives there are obvious signs that we’re aging. When we’re younger, getting larger is a sign that we’re aging. Think of all the favorite t-shirts you’ve parted with over the years. Another sign of aging are our wrinkles and grey hairs. One of the later signs of our aging is our lack of energy. A short walk may leave us winded, exhausted and needing recovery. Growing up is different, it’s mysterious.
Think of how befuddling it is to meet a wise child. Have you ever met one?
Growing up happens as we age, but it isn’t happening constantly. There’s an element of cosmic timing, it isn’t tied to specific experiences. But, there is a relationship between the number of experiences you have and the number of times you “grow up”. It’s different for everyone, the same moments that initiated lasting change in my life, may not make a lasting impact on someone else.
What were some of the events in your life where you can recall growing up?
Good, bad, big, or small, reflecting on these events is empowering. There are lasting lessons you can articulate and evaluate anew. These events may be the birthplaces of your values and remembering them may aid you as you navigate life.
Here are seven times in my life when I grew up.
Abandonment
Experience: When I was five years old, my dad left the family. When I think back, this was my first lasting lesson. I haven’t finished working through this one yet.
Lesson: Commitment and Fear
Moving Forward: Stay committed to things that are important and integrate the fear into my life.
State Champ
Experience: I won the 800 meter championship in Georgia (school size AAA) my senior year.Every morning between the end of cross country and the beginning of track I woke up before school and went for a run. It was always dark and it was sometimes cold.
Lesson: Self-confidence, Consistency, and Dedication
Moving forward: Integrate these into how I do business. Build something I can be dedicated to and work on it consistently.
Long Distance Marriage Proposal
Experience: The woman I was dating at the time, who is now my wife, made a commitment that was going to take her out of the country for two years. Our relationship was important to me and I didn’t want it dissolved by distance so before she left I proposed. It was a two year, long distance, engagement. It paid off though. ;)
Lesson: Devotion
Moving Forward: Repeatedly, do the things that encourage and nurture devotion.
First Time Father
Experience: When I learned I was going to be a Father, I wasn’t ready. However, I do remember feeling my prefrontal cortex engaging and my executive functioning leveling up like never before. All of a sudden I had the super power of… planning.
Lesson: Consequences
Moving Forward: Understand there is a consequence for everything action, good or bad, and its impact reaches far and wide.
COVID
Experience: The lock down, the claustrophobia, the peace and quiet. Being sentenced to a mandatory 11 month timeout gave me space to see all of my distractions. Life is as busy as we allow it to be.
Lesson: Chaos and Quiet
Moving Forward: Evaluate what I do, why I do it, and leave as much space as possible on my calendar.
Losing My Job
Experience: I lost my job in January 2023. It was a mercy, something I needed that I couldn’t give myself.
Lesson: Pivot and Resilience
Moving Forward: Don’t be afraid to build the experiences you need to have for a healthier life. I can push through just about anything, but why should I?
Starting My Own Business
Experience: I started my own business in September of 2023. Things have been slow, but evolving. I can witness the change in my ideas and in my approaches.
Lesson: Patience, Creativity, Exploration, and Flexibility
Moving Forward: The business will form in response to the obstacles I face as I build it. Above, below, along, over, through, under, around; prepositions shape our pursuits.
Contemplating the lasting lessons of our lives is a powerful exercise.
What lasting lessons do you remember?
Are any of your present day values tied to those events?
Oh, this is a great exercise, thank you for sharing it! I believe we're all here to learn through our experiences. I’m glad you’ve found a way to turn around difficult situations into lessons in your own life.
When I was 20, I got chronically ill and I had to learn a lot about health, my purpose and what’s really important in life. It has made me grown more than anything ✨
I grew up overnight when I found out I was pregnant at 18. I went from living with my mother to being a mother in an instant. That'll do it every time!